Kiyo always healed quickly, and when we got home that night, he was in fine condition to see who could put on the highest-quality performance in bed. Consequently, he woke in a very cheerful mood the next day, though he still couldn't help a little grumbling about following along yet again. I knew it was all gruffness, though. He liked knowing I was safe, and that warmed something up inside of me.

"You tricked me," he remarked once we'd crossed over to the Otherworld that morning. I was hoping these bandits would be as easy to dispatch as the kobolds, unnatural hybrids of small animals aside. "After that thing you did in bed..." He sighed happily at the memory of a particularly skillful feat my mouth had performed last night. "Well, you know I'd agree to do anything now."

"Come on," I said, still feeling a bit proud. "It has nothing to do with that. Don't you want to see justice served to those who dare torment my subjects"

"Careful there. People might think you're acting like a real queen."

I glanced down at my torn jeans and Poison T-shirt. "Well, let's not get carried away. Maybe it'd help if I got a crown like Dorian said."

To my astonishment, Kiyo's teasing expression immediately hardened. "No. That's the last thing you should do."

I stared in surprise. "Why not Too Miss America"

"It'll make you seem more...official."

I gestured around at the tapestry-draped castle room we'd appeared in. "We're in a fucking castle, Kiyo. I don't really see how it can get any more official."

"You don't understand. I mean, you're a queen, yeah, and they all know it...but a lot just see you as this warrior stand-in. Like a regent. Get a crown...start appearing before lots of people in it, and I don't know. It makes you legitimate. It makes it real. It'll be harder for you to get out of this than it already is."

I thought about how often I'd wished I hadn't been saddled with this land and how often I'd tried to avoid it-yet still kept coming back. "I don't think it can get any harder."

We found Shaya before heading out on our raid. I'd brought some things that I hoped would help with the Thorn Land's drought and famine. When I gave the first one to her, she could only stare in silence for several moments.

"Your majesty...what is this"

"It's a children's place mat I got from Joe's Tex-Mex restaurant." Along with Joe's kid's menu, the place mat also depicted a map of Arizona that kids could color while waiting